The Day So Far

I woke up today, groggy from the medication, I planned to have an undisturbed good night's rest while two of my four impacted wisdom teeth had other plans.  After awhile of sitting in my room thinking of new stories and how to improve the already written ones, I knew that I had to leave the comfort of my room to continue to start the day.  A day that I hoped would bring happiness and joy instead brought the same annoyances the previous days have brought.

I came downstairs to learn that the book proposal had been rejected by another publishing company.  The response is always the same, that they're not looking for the type of book that we have at this time.  It's annoying because they never really tell you why.  It's like a teacher I had once.  She would grade the tests but not tell us what we got right or wrong.  The entire situation was ridiculous.  What is the point of the test if we don't learn from our mistakes if we don't learn what to improve upon?

Fumes of anger seems from me, I counteract this defeated attitude by remember what other authors have said to me.  L.A Banks once said that her rejection letters were enough to cover a whole wall.  Jonathan Maberry once said that his early work was something that he couldn't believe got published.  The fact of the matter is, if you don't believe in you how will you find someone who will?

The system is designed on a personal basis.  One man's crap is another man's treasure.  Posted on twitter the day before yesterday that I wanted to change the look of beauty by becoming a science fiction writer.  Growing up, I've been accused of wanting to be white or talking white and all the other stupid things ignorant people say.  So, when I tried to share my interest of science fiction shows with my peers it was considered uncool. 

How can people feel beautiful if they can't be themselves?  Why do we have to learn how to be strong the hard way?  I could have been writing my best seller a long time ago instead of having to constantly defend myself. And that's what I want to do for others.

When people are unhappy they do crazy things, because they can't do what they originally wanted to do.  At some point you have to learn to be yourself, and push past all the nonsense, but that's a lot of time wasted.

I'm handling it.


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