Current Status

I'm grateful for the smashwords and kindle of the internet but even without them I'd still write.  I've been writing since I was in high school and I will continue to do so until I die.  I have thoughts swrilling around in my mind, I know not everyone will like it and I can only get better because no writer is perfect.

But lately I've been feeling pretty down, I turned 24 last month and nothing has been the way I thought it would be.  I applied for a job at my own college and they didn't even see it fit to shoot me an e-mail to say no thanks.  The fact of the situation is I'm not doing what I want for a living, so I'll continue to do it for free. 

I feel kinda like a Padawan, a really broke Padawan, in some murky ugly forest with a crazy old creature telling me to keep trying.  Sure Luke was tired and wanted to give up a bunch of times, and he was doing all of that Jedi training for free - he wasn't even getting paid.

This city has a unemployment rate of 10.6 percent while New York's is 8.8 as of Dec. 09.  

Est. 2008 1,540,351 Philadelphia while Est. 2009 8,363,710 for New York.  With more people living in New York shouldn't the unemployment rate be higher in the place with the most competition?

Philadelphia's Inferiority Complex

I agree with the above article but at the same time, could it be called an inferiority complex if the inferior is in fact real and true.

I admit I may be lashing out because of the frustrations of this job search, maybe I'm lashing out because it took four days after the blizzard for a snow plow to come anywhere near my neighborhood.  Maybe I'm a little pissed about the mob that happened in Macy's day before yesterday. 

My point is, I won't stop trying no matter what the circumstances are.  The city, people often mistaking me for a teenager (I look young), the right people who I don't seem to know, and I'll reflect upon whatever else there is that I need to change or to improve.  But it's just frustrating because I thought that this is what I was doing the entire time I was in school.

Someone passed along me that you don't fail until you stop trying.  I can't stop trying, they'll be nothing else for me to do.


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