The Difficulties of Being an INTJ, C Style Personality

Hello, my name is Lauren and I'm an INTJ Personality.





When you take this test and I've taken it a few times it tells you your personality type and what it means.

I've also taken the DiSC assessment and found out I'm a C-Style.

Now that I know why I don't get along with people as much as I would like to know how to better get along with people.

If someone asks me a question and they're expecting an emotional response, I don't give it.

I always thought to be a black woman from Philadelphia is the reason for my lack of emotional response and maybe it is, emotions are seen as a waste of time where I am from.

No one cares that you're sad, angry, happy or confused.

If someone asks you a question you answer it and move on to the next question. Why waste your time or mine with how you feel or how I feel.

As a result, I'm told I come off cocky, unfeeling or strange.

It's annoying because as an INTJ it is my instinct to tell everyone to get over it.

If I don't like the way someone comes off to me, I don't see how that should derail my day. Why would it? Everyone is entitled to their own emotions and to deal with it on their own.  Just as I deal with my own.

I've been reading a lot about emotional intelligence and it all seems like common sense.  Smile and now when someone is talking to you, be sure to take an interest in what the person is saying.

Boring, boring, boring yadda yadda yadda and that's what I've been working on.

Is everyone too soft or am I too desensitized to other people's emotions?



But it's strange, how can I be expected to be responsible for other people's emotions.

When you are living your life being hated for the color of your skin.

No, you can't care what other people say, think or feel.  You wouldn't get out of the bed. You wouldn't get anything done.

You'd be paralyzed by the thought that someone won't like you because you are who you are.

So that does make me wonder if my INTJ Personality is nature or nurture.

But here's the rub I've run into.

I haven't been clear on who's feelings to consider and who's not to and how to proceed on a case by case basis.

Because everything seems so petty.

Maybe over time I'll become more emotionally intelligent.

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