It is Like Drowning

It is like drowning, the undertow has taken you under and you realize that there was no manual to begin with.  Everything you do and every move you make will be the wrong move especially since you don't even know which way is up.  You don't know which way you've come from and you don't know where you are going.

You're just expelling as much energy as you possibly can, you can hear the cacophony of sounds of people saying things to you with all kinds of background noise going on.  It's a jumbled mess of horrible advice; some you asked for and some you didn't.

Some are shouted as loudly as they possibly could trying to persuade you for their own means and their own agendas, some are whispered because they have their own problems to deal with and instead of saying, I don't know, they make up answers they shouldn't be giving in the first place.

You kick your legs and wave your arms doing so much work and going nowhere in the midst of the madness there are all the things that bother you that shouldn't.  Selfish actions of other people that can hurt you if you let it.  As you get older you start to realize that you are in deeper waters than what you first thought.  Off in the distance you see a boat and you figure once you get to that boat you'll be saved.  You work so hard to get to the boat, you spend copious amounts of time trusting that this boat is what can save you and you realize you allowed your mind to play tricks with you.  That the boat is just another person; just as lost and confused as you are.  You can't get back the time you spent making your way to that boat.

So what do you do?  Keep your head held high.  Bear through the obnoxious times, the obnoxious people, put up with the awful experiences you wish you hadn't gone through?  Put up with the paralyzing thought that you may never make it to shore.  That help is not coming.  That remarkable is not a word that will be used to describe you when your life is over.  To give up on finding enjoyment and just put up with the boring waves just knocking you around to the sounds of sports announcers who all sound the same, the sounds of rejection that always sound the same, every late night ending the same way, the cacophony is a jumbled mess, dreams of being the best fade away and are crushed with a tidal of words, circumstance, failing economy, recession, low budget, high loans.  All the hard work of kicking and trying mean nothing without a direction.

Without a direction to go into and without any help with people who have already made their way you'll end up nowhere.  Being told that you can do whatever you want to in life is true, what is left out are the long series of caveats that no one knows about or else they would have done it themselves.  These half truths that you were told when you were young make it nearly impossible to accomplish anything without being related to someone with a last name of Kennedy.  While I flail in the middle of the ocean the Rockefellers, Kennedys, and Trumps of the world zoom past on yachts and speedboats.  The idea that hard work yields success is a myth created by rich people.  I have to admit.  It's a really great distraction method.

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